How I forgot I was fabulous.

Where have I been? What’s going on? Well, I will tell you, I have not been able to write since my last entry. I have had no real appeal to write or to be creative. 2014 was not a good year for me or for my family, though we did have some bright moments, a lot of my year was shrouded in darkness. I unfortunately couldn’t really focus on the bright moments and I let my depression come over me. I had no real drive to be me or to discover and find my happiness, instead I relied on others for my happiness, which ultimately has made me not the greatest person to be around for the last 10 months or so. Going forward, I am not going to let depression conquer my 2015 or the rest of my life. I feel that each one of us is here for a reason and though we may not always understand why we are here, we must keep pushing to do better and to be better.

I have a lot of people I look to as teachers. Teacher in life, teachers in love and teachers in spirituality. These people range from my friends, my coworkers, my family, certain┬ápublic figures and many more. One of the greatest lessons I have learned though is from someone that a lot of people blow off as just another entertainer, but for me, he has been like a god-send. I am talking about Rupaul, yes the incredibly talented and ever so brilliant Drag Queen who managed to not only overcome other people’s preconceived ideas/thoughts/notions on drag queens but also managed to become known as the Super Model of The World, during a time that being gay was still a pretty taboo thing. Rupaul has written a couple of really good books and has given his words of wisdom to many and now I can say that because of his books, his shows and many other ventures, I too feel that I have been taught by Rupaul himself. He taught me that I need to love myself, first and foremost…something that I seemed to forget last year. He also taught me that in order to be a true success, sometimes you have to go through a lot of shit to come out on the other side a fabulous new you. I’ve gone through a lot of my shit this last year, and though I still have to wade through more, I can finally say that I’m starting to see my sparkle again. I’m finally starting to feel like me again and I did it through loving myself and being kind to others.

I want you to watch the clip below, its from season one of Rupaul’s Drag Race. Rupaul dishes out hard truth that applies to everyone and I think we could all use a reminding from time to time that life is not about instant success, instant happiness and that you have to to go on the journey to get to the place you want to be.